RESERVOIR DOGS

LIONEL WHITE

MR. BLUE
No it's not. It's about a girl
who is very vulnerable and she's
been fucked over a few times.
Then she meets some guy who's
really sensitive--

MR. PINK
--Whoa...whoa...time out Greenbay.
Tell that bullshit to the
tourists.

JOE
(looking through his
address book)
Toby...who the fuck is Toby?
Toby...Toby...think...think...
think...

MR. PINK
It's not about a nice girl who
meets a sensitive boy. Now
granted that's what "True Blue" is
about, no argument about that.

MR. ORANGE
Which one is "True Blue?"

NICE GUY EDDIE
You don't remember "True Blue?"
That was a big ass hit for
Madonna. Shit, I don't even
follow this Tops In Pops shit, and
I've at least heard of "True
Blue."

MR. ORANGE
Look, asshole, I didn't say I
ain't heard of it. All I asked
was how does it go? Excuse me
for not being the world's biggest
Madonna fan.

MR. BROWN
I hate Madonna.

MR. BLUE
I like her early stuff. You know,
"Lucky Star," "Borderline" - but
once she got into her "Papa Don't
Preach" phase, I don't know, I
tuned out.

MR. PINK
Hey, fuck all that, I'm
making a point here. You're gonna
make me lose my train
of thought.

JOE
Oh fuck, Toby's that little china
girl.

MR. WHITE
What's that?

JOE
I found this old address book in a
jacket I ain't worn in a coon's
age. Toby what? What the fuck
was her last name?

MR. PINK
Where was I?

MR. ORANGE
You said "True Blue" was about a
nice girl who finds a sensitive
fella. But "Like a Virgin" was a
metaphor for big dicks.

MR. PINK
Let me tell ya what "Like a
Virgin"'s about. It's about some
cooze who's a regular fuck
machine.
I mean all the time, morning, day,
night, afternoon, dick, dick,
dick, dick, dick,
dick, dick, dick, dick, dick,
dick.

MR. BLUE
How many dicks was that?

MR. WHITE
A lot.

MR. PINK
Then one day she meets a John
Holmes motherfucker, and it's
like, whoa baby. This mother
fucker's like Charles Bronson in
"The Great Escape." He's diggin
tunnels. Now she's gettin this
serious dick action, she's feelin
something she ain't felt since
forever. Pain.

JOE
Chew? Toby Chew? No.

MR. PINK
It hurts. It hurts her. It
shouldn't hurt. Her pussy should
be Bubble-Yum by now. But when
this cat fucks her, it hurts. It
hurts like the first time. The
pain is reminding a fuck machine
what is was like to be a virgin.
Hence, "Like a Virgin."

JOE
Wong?

MR. PINK
Fuck you, wrong. I'm right! What
the fuck do you know about it
anyway? You're still listening to
Jerry-fucking-Vale.

JOE
Not wrong, dumb ass, Wong! You
know, like the Chinese name?

MR. WHITE
Give me this fucking thing.

JOE
What the fuck do you think you're
doin? Give me my book back!

MR. WHITE
I'm sick of fuckin hearin it Joe,
I'll give it back when we leave.

JOE
Whaddaya mean, give it to me when
we leave, give it back now.

MR. WHITE
For the past fifteen minutes now,
you've just been droning on with
names. "Toby...Toby...Toby...
Toby Wong...Toby Wong...Toby
Chung...fuckin Charlie Chan." I
got Madonna's big dick outta my
right ear, and Toby Jap I-don't-
know-what, outta my left.

JOE
What do you care?

MR. WHITE
When you're annoying as hell, I
care a lot.

JOE
Give me my book.

MR. WHITE
You gonna put it away?

JOE
I'm gonna do whatever I wanna do
with it.

MR. WHITE
Well, then, I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to keep it.

MR. BLONDE
Joe, you want me to shoot him for
you?

MR. WHITE
Shit, you shoot me in a dream, you
better wake up and apologize.

NICE GUY EDDIE
Have you guys been listening to K-
BILLY's super sounds of the
seventies weekend?

MR. PINK
Yeah, it's fuckin great isn't it?

NICE GUY EDDIE
Can you believe the songs they
been playin?

MR. PINK
No, I can't. You know what I
heard the other day? "Heartbeat -
It's Lovebeat," by little Tony
DeFranco and the DeFranco Family.
I haven't heard that since I was
in fifth fuckin grade.

NICE GUY EDDIE
When I was coming down here, I was
playin it. And "The Night the
Lights Went Out in Georgia" came
on. Now I ain't heard that song
since it was big, but when it was
big, I heard it a million-
trillion times. I'm listening to
it this morning, and this was the
first time I ever realized that
the lady singing the song, was the
one who killed Andy.

MR. BLUE
You didn't know Vicki Lawrence
killed the guy?

NICE GUY EDDIE
I thought the cheatin wife shot
Andy.

MR. BLONDE
They say it in the song.

NICE GUY EDDIE
I know, I heard it. I musta zoned
out whenever that part came on
before. I thought when she said
that little sister stuff, she was
talkin about her sister- in-law,
the cheatin wife.

JOE
No, she did it. She killed the
cheatin wife, too.

MR. PINK
You know the part in "Gypsies,
Tramps and Theives," when she says
"Poppa woulda shot his if he knew
what he'd done?" I could never
figure out what he did.

WAITRESS
Can I get anybody more
coffee.

JOE
No, we're gonna be hittin it.
I'll take care of the check.

WAITRESS
Here ya go. Please pay at the
register, if you wouldn't mind.

JOE
Sure thing.

WAITRESS
You guys have a wonderful day.

JOE
I'll take care of this, you guys
leave the tip.
(to Mr. White)
And when I come back, I want my
book back.

MR. WHITE
Sorry, it's my book now.

JOE
Blonde, shoot this piece of shit,
will ya?

NICE GUY EDDIE
Okay, everybody cough up green for
the little lady.

NICE GUY EDDIE
C'mon, throw in a buck.

MR. WHITE
Uh-uh. I don't tip.

NICE GUY EDDIE
Whaddaya mean you don't tip?

MR. WHITE
I don't believe in it.

NICE GUY EDDIE
You don't believe in tipping?

MR. PINK
(laughing)
I love this kid, he's a madman,
this guy.

MR. BLONDE
Do you have any idea what these
ladies make? They make shit.

MR. WHITE
Don't give me that. She don't
make enough money, she can quit.

NICE GUY EDDIE
I don't even know a Jew who'd have
the balls to say that. So let's
get this straight. You never ever
tip?

MR. WHITE
I don't tip because society says I
gotta. I tip when somebody
deserves a tip. When somebody
really puts forth an effort, they
deserve a little something extra.
But this tipping automatically,
that shit's for the birds. As far
as I'm concerned, they're just
doin their job.

MR. BLUE
Our girl was nice.

MR. WHITE
Our girl was okay. She didn't do
anything special.

MR. BLONDE
What's something special, take ya
in the kitchen and suck your dick?

NICE GUY EDDIE
I'd go over twelve percent for
that.

MR. WRITE
Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've
been here a long fuckin time, and
she's only filled my cup three
times. When I order coffee, I
want it filled six times.

MR. BLONDE
What if she's too busy?

MR. WHITE
The words "too busy" shouldn't be
in a waitress's vocabulary.

NICE GUY EDDIE
Excuse me, Mr. White, but the last
thing you need is another cup of
coffee.

MR. WHITE
These ladies aren't starvin to
death. They make minimum wage.
When I worked for minimum wage, I
wasn't lucky enough to have a job
that society deemed tipworthy.

NICE GUY EDDIE
Ahh, now we're getting down to it.
It's not just that he's a cheap
bastard--

MR. ORANGE
--It is that too--

NICE GUY EDDIE
--It is that too. But it's also
he couldn't get a waiter job. You
talk like a pissed off dishwasher:
"Fuck those cunts and their
fucking tips."

MR. BLONDE
So you don't care that they're
counting on your tip to live?

MR. WHITE
Do you know what this is? It's
the world's smallest violin,
playing just for the waitresses.

MR. BLONDE
You don't have any idea what
you're talking about. These
people bust their ass. This
is a hard job.

MR. WHITE
So's working at McDonald's, but
you don't feel the need to tip
them. They're servin ya food, you
should tip em. But no, society
says tip these guys over here, but
not those guys over there. That's
bullshit.

MR. ORANGE
They work harder than the kids at
McDonald's.

MR. WHITE
Oh yeah, I don't see them cleaning
fryers.

MR. BROWN
These people are taxed on the tips
they make. When you stiff 'em,
you cost them money.

MR. BLONDE
Waitressing is the number one
occupation for female non-college
graduates in this country. It's
the one jab basically any woman
can get, and make a living on.
The reason is because of tips.

MR. WHITE
Fuck all that.

MR. WHITE
Hey, I'm very sorry that the
government taxes their tips.
That's fucked up. But that ain't
my fault. it would appear that
waitresses are just one of the
many groups the government fucks
in the ass on a regular basis.
You show me a paper says the
government shouldn't do that, I'll
sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll
vote for it. But what I won't do
is play ball. And this non-
college bullshit you're telling
me, I got two words for that:
"Learn to fuckin type." Cause if
you're expecting me to help out
with the rent, you're in for a big
fuckin surprise.

MR. ORANGE
He's convinced me. Give me my
dollar back.

JOE
Okay ramblers, let's get to
rambling. Wait a minute, who
didn't throw in?

MR. ORANGE
Mr. White.

JOE
(to Mr. Orange)
Mr. White?
(to Mr. White)
Why?

MR. ORANGE
He don't tip.

JOE
(to Mr. Orange)
He don't tip?
(to Mr. White)
You don't tip? Why?

MR. ORANGE
He don't believe in it.

JOE
(to Mr. Orange)
He don't believe in it?
(to Mr. White)
You don't believe in it?

MR. ORANGE
Nope.

JOE
(to Mr. Orange)
Shut up!
(to Mr. White)
Cough up the buck, ya cheap
bastard, I paid for your goddamn
breakfast.

MR. WHITE
Because you paid for the
breakfast, I'm gonna tip.
Normally I wouldn't.

JOE
Whatever. Just throw in your
dollar, and let's move.
(to Mr. Blonde)
See what I'm dealing with here.
Infants. I'm fuckin dealin with
infants.

SOMEBODY ELSE (OS)
Just hold on buddy boy.

SOMEBODY (OS)
I'm sorry. I can't believe
she killed me. Who would've
fuckin thought that?

MR. WHITE
Hey, just cancel that shit right
now! You're hurt. You're hurt
really fucking bad, but you ain't
dying.

MR. ORANGE
(crying)
All this blood is scaring the shit
outta me. I'm gonna die, I know
it.

MR. WHITE
Oh excuse me, I didn't realize you
had a degree in medicine. Are you
a doctor? Are you a doctor?
Answer me please, are you a
doctor?

MR. ORANGE
No, I'm not!

MR. WRITE
Ahhhh, so you admit you don't know
what you're talking about. So if
you're through giving me your
amateur opinion, lie back and
listen to the news. I'm taking
you back to the rendezvous, Joe's
gonna get you a doctor, the
doctor's gonna fix you up, and
you're gonna be okay. Now say it:
you're gonna be okay. Say it:
you're gonna be okay!

MR. ORANGE
I'm okay.

MR. WHITE
(softly)
Correct.

MR. WHITE
Just hold on buddy boy. Hold on,
and wait for Joe. I can't do
anything for you, but when Joe
gets here, which should be anytime
now, he'll be able to help you.
We're just gonna sit here, and
wait for Joe. Who are
we waiting for?

MR. ORANGE
Joe.

MR. WHITE
Bet your sweet ass we are.

MR. ORANGE
(yelling)
Don't leave me!

MR. WHITE
I ain't going anywhere. I'm right
here. I'm not gonna leave ya.

MR. ORANGE
Larry, I'm so scared, would you
please hold me.

MR. WHITE
(whispering)
Go ahead and be scared, you've
been brave enough for one day. I
want you to just relax now.
You're not gonna die, you're gonna
be fine. When Joe gets here,
he'll make ya a hundred percent
again.

MR. ORANGE
Look, I don't wanna be a fly in
the ointment, but if help doesn't
come soon, I gotta see a doctor.
I don't give a fuck about jail, I
just don't wanna die.

MR. WHITE
You're not gonna fucking die, all
right?

MR. ORANGE
I wasn't born yesterday. I'm
hurt, and I'm hurt bad.

MR. WHITE
It's not good...

MR. ORANGE
Hey, bless your heart for what
you're trying to do. I was
panicking for a moment, but I've
got my senses back now. The
situation is, I'm shot in the
belly. And without medical
attention, I'm gonna die.

MR. WHITE
I can' take you to a hospital.

MR. ORANGE
Fuck jail! I don't give a shit
about jail. But I can't die. You
don't have to take me in. Just
drive me up to the front, drop me
on the sidewalk. I'll take care
of myself. I won't tell them
anything. I swear to fucking god,
I won't tell 'em anything. Look
in my eyes, look right in my eyes.
(Mr. White does)
I-won't-tell-them-anything.
You'll be safe.

MR. WHITE
Lie back down, and try to--

MR. ORANGE
I'm going to die! I need a
doctor! I'm begging you,
take me to a doctor.

MR. ORANGE
Take me to a doctor, take me to a
doctor, please.

MR. PINK
Was that a fucking set-up or what?

MR. PINK
Oh fuck, Orange got tagged.

MR. WHITE
Gun shot.

MR. WHITE
Dead.

MR. PINK
Goddamn, goddamn! How did he die?

MR. WHITE
How the fuck do you think? The
cops shot him.

MR. PINK
Oh this is bad, this is so bad.
(referring to Mr.
Orange)
Is it bad?

MR. WHITE
As opposed to good?

MR. PINK
This is so fucked up. Somebody
fucked us big time.

MR. WHITE
You really think we were set up?

MR. PINK
You even doubt it? I don't think
we got set up, I know we got set
up! I mean really, seriously,
where did all those cops come
from, huh? One minute they're not
there, the next minute
they're there. I didn't hear any
sirens. The alarm went off, okay.
Okay, when an alarm goes off, you
got an average of four minutes
response time. Unless a patrol
car is cruising that street, at
that particular moment, you got
four minutes before they can
realistically respond. In one
minute there were seventeen blue
boys out there. All loaded for
bear, all knowing exactly what the
fuck they were doing, and they
were all just there! Remember
that second wave that showed up in
the cars? Those were the ones
responding to the alarm. but
those other motherfuckers were
already there, they were waiting
for us.
(pause)
You haven't thought about this?

MR. WHITE
I haven't had a chance to think.
First I was just trying to get the
fuck outta there. And after we
got away, I've just been dealin
with him.

MR. PINK
Well, you better start thinking
about it. Cause I, sure as fuck,
am thinking about it. In fact,
that's all I'm thinking about. I
came this close to just driving
off. Whoever set us up, knows
about this place. There could've
been cops sitting here waiting for
me. For all we know, there's
cops, driving fast, on their way
here now.

MR. WHITE
Let's go in the other room...

MR. PINK (OS)
What the fuck am I doing here? I
felt funny about this job right
off. As soon as I felt it I
should said "No thank you", and
walked. But I never fucking
listen. Every time I ever got
burned buying weed, I always knew
the guy wasn't right. I just felt
it. But I wanted to believe him.
If he's not lyin to me, and it
really is Thai stick, then whoa
baby. But it's never Thai stick.
and I always said if I felt that
way about a job, I'd walk. And I
did, and I didn't, because of
fuckin money!

MR. WHITE
What's done is done, I need you
cool. Are you cool?

MR. PINK
I'm cool.

MR. WHITE
Splash some water on your face.
Take a breather.

MR. WHITE
I'm gonna get me my smokes.

MR. WHITE
Want a smoke?

MR. PINK
Why not?

MR. WHITE
Okay, let's go through what
happened. We're in the place,
everything's going fine. Then the
alarm gets tripped. I turn around
and all these cops are outside.
You're right, it was like, bam! I
blink my eyes are they're there.
Everybody starts going apeshit.
Then Mr. Blonde starts shootin all
the--

MR. PINK
--That's not correct.

MR. WHITE
What's wrong with it?

MR. PINK
The cops didn't show up after the
alarm went off. They didn't show
till after Mr. Blonde started
shooting everyone.

MR. WHITE
As soon as I heard the alarm, I
saw the cops.

MR. PINK
I'm telling ya, it wasn't that
soon. They didn't let their
presence be known until after Mr.
Blonde went off. I'm not sayin
they weren't there, I'm sayin they
were there. But they didn't move
in till Mr. Blonde became a
madman. That's how I know we were
set up. You can see that,
can't you, Mr. White?

MR. WHITE
Look, enough of this "Mr White"
shit--

MR. PINK
--Don't tell me your name, I don't
want to know! I sure as hell
ain't gonna tell ya
mine.

MR. WHITE
You're right, this is bad.
(pause)
How did you get out?

MR. PINK
Shot my way out. Everybody was
shooting, so I just blasted my way
outta there.

MR. PINK
Get outta the car! Get the fuck
outta the car!

MR. PINK
Open the fucking door!

MR. PINK
Tagged a couple of cops. Did you
kill anybody?

MR. WHITE
A few cops.

MR. PINK
No real people?

MR. WHITE
Uh-uh, just cops.

MR. PINK
Could you believe Mr. Blonde?

MR. WHITE
That was one of the most insane
fucking things I've ever seen.
Why the fuck would Joe hire
somebody like that?

MR. PINK
I don't wanna kill anybody. But
if I gotta get out that door, and
you're standing in my way, one way
of the other, you're gettin outta
my way.

MR. WHITE
That's the way I look at it. A
choice between doin ten years, and
takin out some stupid
motherfucker, ain't no choice at
all. But I ain't no madman
either. What the fuck was Joe
thinkin? You can't work with a
guy like that. That mother-
fucker's unstable. What do you
think? Do you think he panicked,
or ya think he's just trigger-
happy?

MR. PINK
I think he's a sick fuckin maniac!
We're awful goddamn lucky he
didn't tag us, when
he shot up the place. I came this
fucking close--
(hold up two fingers
and makes a tiny
space between them)
--to taking his ass out myself.
Everybody panics. When things get
tense, everybody panics.
Everybody. I don't care what your
name is, you can't help it. It's
human nature. But ya panic on the
inside.
Ya panic in your head. Ya give
yourself a couple a seconds of
panic, then you get a grip and
deal with the situation. What you
don't do, is shoot up the place
and kill everybody.

MR. WHITE
What you're supposed to do is act
like a fuckin professional. A
psychopath is not a professional.
You can't work with a psychopath,
'cause ya don't know what those
sick assholes are gonna do next.
I mean, Jesus Christ, how old do
you think that black girl was?
Twenty, maybe twenty-one?

MR. PINK
Did ya see what happened to
anybody else?

MR. WHITE
Me and Mr. Orange jumped in the
car and Mr. Brown floored it.
After that, I don't know what went
down.

MR. PINK
At that point it became every man
for himself. As far as Mr. Blonde
or Mr. Blue are concerned, I ain't
got the foggiest. Once
I got out, I never looked back.

MR. WHITE
What do you think?

MR. PINK
What do I think? I think the cops
caught them, or killed 'em.

MR. WHITE
Not even a chance they punched
through? You found a hole.

MR. PINK
Yeah, and that was a fucking
miracle. But if they did get
away, where the fuck are they?

MR. WHITE
You don't think it's possible, one
of them got ahold of the diamonds
and pulled a--

MR. PINK
Nope.

MR. WHITE
How can you be so sure?

MR. PINK
I got the diamonds.

MR. WHITE
Where?

MR. PINK
I got 'em, all right?

MR. WHITE
Where? Are they out in the car?

MR. PINK
No, they're not in the car. No, I
don't have them on me. Ya wanna
go with me and get 'em? Yes, we
can go right now. But first
listen to what I'm telling you.
We were fuckin set up! Somebody
is in league with the cops. We
got a Judas in our midst. And I'm
thinkin we should have our fuckin
heads examined for waiting around
here.

MR. WHITE
That was the plan, we meet here.

MR. PINK
Then where is everybody? I say
the plan became null and void once
we found out we got a rat in the
house. We ain't got the slightest
fuckin idea what happened to Mr.
Blonde or Mr. Blue. They could
both be dead
or arrested. They could be
sweatin 'em, down at the station
house right now. Yeah they don't
know the names, but they can sing
about this place.
I mean, that could be happening
right now. As we speak, the cops
could be in their cars, drivin
here this minute.

MR. WHITE
I swear to god I'm fuckin jinxed.

MR. PINK
What?

MR. WHITE
Two jobs back, it was a four man
job, we discovered one of the team
was an undercover cop.

MR. PINK
No shit?

MR. WHITE
Thank god, we discovered in time.
We hadda forget the whole fuckin
thing. Just walked away from it.

MR. PINK
So who's the rat this time? Mr.
Blue? Mr. Blonde? Joe? It's
Joe's show, he set this whole
thing up. Maybe he set it up to
set it up.

MR. WHITE
I don't buy it. Me and Joe go
back a long time. I can tell ya
straight up, Joe definitely didn't
have anything to do with this
bullshit.

MR. PINK
Oh, you and Joe go back a long
time. I known Joe since I was a
kid. But me saying Joe definitely
couldn't have done it is
ridiculous. I can say I
definitely didn't do it, cause I
know what I did or didn't do. But
I can't definitely say that about
anybody else, 'cause I don't
definitely know. For all I know,
you're the rat.

MR. WHITE
For all I know, you're the rat.

MR. PINK
Now you're using your head. For
all we know, he's the rat.

MR. WHITE
Jesus Christ!

MR. PINK
Is he dead?

MR. PINK
So, is he dead or what?

MR. WHITE
He ain't dead.

MR. PINK
So what is it?

MR. WHITE
I think he's just passed out.

MR. PINK
He scared the fuckin shit outta
me. I thought he was dead fer
sure.

MR. WHITE
He will be dead fer sure, if we
don't get him to a hospital.

MR. PINK
We can't take him to a hospital.

MR. WHITE
Without medical attention, this
man won't live through the night.
That bullet in his belly is my
fault. Now while that might not
mean jack shit to you, it means a
helluva lot to me. And I'm not
gonna just sit around and watch
him die.

MR. PINK
Well, first things first, staying
here's goofy. We gotta book up.

MR. WHITE
So what do you suggest, we go to a
hotel? We got a guy who's shot in
the belly, he can't walk, he
bleeds like a stuck pig, and when
he's awake, he screams in pain.

MR. PINK
You gotta idea, spit it out.

MR. WHITE
Joe could help him. If we can get
in touch with Joe, Joe could get
him to a doctor, Joe could get a
doctor to come and see him.

MR. PINK (OS)
Assuming we can trust Joe, how we
gonna get in touch with him? He's
supposed to be here, but he ain't,
which is making me nervous about
being here. Even if Joe is
on the up and up, he's probably
not gonna be that happy with us.
Joe planned a robbery, but he's
got a blood bath on his hands now.
Dead cops, dead robbers, dead
civilians...Jesus Christ! I tend
to doubt he's gonna have a lot of
sympathy for our plight. If I was
him, I'd try and put as much
distance between me and this mess
an humanly possible.

MR. WHITE
Before you got here, Mr. Orange
was askin me to take him to a
hospital. Now I don't like
turning him over to the cops, but
if we don't, he's dead. He begged
me to do it. I told him to hold
off till Joe got here.

MR. PINK (OS)
Well Joe ain't gettin here. We're
on our own. Now, I don't know a
goddamn body who can help him, so
if you know somebody, call 'em.

MR. WHITE
I don't know anybody.

MR. PINK (OS)
Well, I guess we drop him off at
the hospital. Since he don't know
nothin about us, I say it's his
decision.

MR. WHITE (OS)
Well, he knows a little about me.

MR. PINK
You didn't tell him your name, did
ya?

MR. WHITE (OS)
I told him my first name, and
where I'm from.

MR. PINK
Why!

MR. WHITE (OS)
I told him where I was from a few
days ago. It was just a casual
conversation.

MR. PINK
And what was tellin him your name
when you weren't supposed to?

MR. WHITE (OS)
He asked.

MR. WHITE (OS)
We had just gotten away from the
cops. He just got shot. It was
my fuckin fault he got shot. He's
a fuckin bloody mess - he's
screaming. I swear to god, I
thought we was gonna die right
then and there. I'm tryin to
comfort him, telling him not to
worry, he's gonna be okay, I'm
gonna take care of him. And he
asked me what my name was. I
mean, the man was dyin in my arms.
What the fuck was I supposed to
tell him, "Sorry, I can't give out
that information, it's against the
rules. I don't trust you
enough."? Maybe I shoulda, but I
couldn't.

MR. PINK
Oh, I don't doubt is was quite
beautiful--

MR. WHITE (OS)
Don't fuckin patronize me.

MR. PINK
One question: Do they have a sheet
on you, where you told him you're
from?

MR. WHITE (OS)
Of course.

MR. PINK
Well that's that, then. I mean, I
was worried about mug shot
possibilities already. But now he
knows: (a) what you look like, (b)
what your first name is,
(i) where you're from and (d) what
your specialty is.
They ain't gonna hafta show him a
helluva lot of pictures for him to
pick you out. That's it right,
you didn't tell him anything else
that could narrow down the
selection?

MR. WHITE (OS)
If I have to tell you again to
back off, me an you are gonna go
round and round.

MR. PINK
We ain't taking him to a hospital.

MR. WHITE (OS)
If we don't, he'll die.

MR. PINK
And I'm very sad about that. But
some fellas are lucky, and some
ain't.

MR. WHITE (OS)
That fuckin did it!

You little motherfucker!

MR. PINK
Ya wanna fuck with me?! You wanna
fuck with me?! I'll show you who
you're fuckin with!

MR. WHITE
You wanna shoot me, you little
piece of shit? Take a shot!

MR. PINK
Fuck you, White! I didn't create
this situation, I'm just dealin
with it. You're acting like a
first-year fuckin thief. I'm
actin like a professional. They
get him, they can get you, they
get you, they get closer to me,
and that can't happen. And you,
you motherfucker, are looking at
me like it's my fault. I didn't
tell him my name. I didn't tell
him where I was from. I didn't
tell him what I knew better than
to tell him. Fuck, fifteen
minutes ago, you almost told me
your name. You, buddy, are stuck
in a situation you created. So if
you wanna throw bad looks
somewhere, throw 'em at a mirror.

MR. PINK
So if you wanna shoot somebody,
put that gun in your mouth and
shoot yourself.

VOICE (OS)
You kids don't play so rough.
Somebody's gonna start crying.

MR. PINK
Mr. Blonde! You okay? We thought
you might've gotten caught. What
happened?

MR. PINK
Really, how did you get away?

MR. PINK
You saw what happened to me,
I found a hole and booked.

MR. PINK
Where's Mr. Blue?

MR. PINK
We were hopin you two would be
together.

MR. PINK
That was the big question we had,
what happened to Mr.
Blue and you?

MR. PINK
We were worried the cops got ya.

MR. PINK
He got it in the belly. He's
still alive, but won't be for
long.

MR. WHITE
Enough! You better start talkin
to us, asshole, cause we got shit
we need to talk about. We're
already freaked out, we need you
actin freaky like we need a fuckin
bag on our hip.

MR. BLONDE
So, talk.

MR. WHITE
We think we got a rat in the
house.

MR. PINK
I guarantee we got a rat in the
house.

MR. BLONDE
What would ever make you think
that?

MR. WHITE
Is that supposed to be funny?

MR. PINK
We don't think this place is safe.

MR. WHITE
This place just ain't secure
anymore. We're leaving, and you
should go with us.

MR. BLONDE
Nobody's going anywhere.

MR. WHITE
(to Mr. Pink)
Piss on this turd, we're outta
here.

MR. BLONDE
Don't take another step, Mr.
White.

MR. WHITE
Fuck you, maniac! It's your
fuckin fault we're in so much
trouble.

MR. BLONDE
(referring to Mr.
White)
What's this guy's problem?

MR. WHITE
What's my problem? Yeah, I gotta
problem. I gotta big problem with
any trigger-happy madman who
almost gets me shot!

MR. BLONDE
What're you talkin about?

MR. WHITE
That fuckin shooting spree in the
store.

MR. BLONDE
Fuck 'em, they set off the alarm,
they deserve what they got.

MR. WHITE
You almost killed me, asshole! If
I had any idea what type of guy
you were, I never would've agreed
to work with you.

MR. BLONDE
You gonna back all day, little
doggie, or are you gonna bite?

MR. WHITE
What was that? I'm sorry, I
didn't catch it. Would you repeat
it?

MR. BLONDE
(slowly)
I said: "Are you gonna bark all
day, dog, or are you gonna bite."

MR. PINK
Both of you two assholes knock it
the fuck off and calm down!

MR. WHITE
(to Mr. Blonde)
So you wanna git bit, huh?

MR. PINK
Cut the bullshit, we ain't on a
fuckin playground!
(pause)
I don't believe this shit, both of
you got ten years on me, and I'm
the only one actin like a
professional. You guys act like a
bunch of fuckin niggers. You ever
work a job with a bunch of
niggers? They're just like you
two, always fightin, always sayin
they're gonna kill one another.

MR. WHITE
(to Mr. Pink)
You said yourself, you
thought about takin him out.

MR. PINK
Then. That time has passed.
Right now, Mr. Blonde is the only
one I completely trust. He's too
fuckin homicidal to be workin with
the cops.

MR. WHITE
You takin his side?

MR. PINK
Fuck sides! What we need is a
little solidarity here.
Somebody's stickin a red hot poker
up our asses and we gotta find out
whose hand's on the handle. Now I
know I'm no piece of shit...
(referring to Mr.
White)
And I'm pretty sure you're a good
boy...
(referring to Mr.
Blonde)
And I'm fuckin positive you're on
the level. So let's figure out
who's the bad guy.

MR. BLONDE
Well, that was sure exciting.
(to Mr. White)
You're a big Lee Marvin fan,
aren't you? Me too. I don't know
about the rest of you fellas, but
my heart's
beatin fast.
(pause for a beat)
Okay you guys, follow me.

MR. WHITE
Follow you where?

MR. BLONDE
Down to my car.

MR. WHITE
Why?

MR. BLONDE
It's a surprise.

MR. PINK
We still gotta get out of here.

MR. BLONDE
We're gonna sit here and wait.

MR. WHITE
For what, the cops?

MR. BLONDE
Nice Guy Eddie.

MR. PINK
Nice Guy Eddie? What makes you
think Nice Guy's anywhere but on a
plane half way to Costa Rica?

MR. BLONDE
Cause I just talked to him. He's
on his way down here, and nobody's
going anywhere till be gets here.

MR. WHITE
You talked to Nice Guy Eddie? Why
the fuck didn't you say that in
the first place?

MR. BLONDE
You didn't ask.

MR. WHITE
Hardy-fuckin-har. What did he
say?

MR. BLONDE
Stay put. Okay, fellas, take a
look at the little surprise I
brought you.

MR. BLONDE
So while we're waitin for Nice Guy
Eddie, what say we have a little
fun finding out who the rat is.

JOE
(into phone)
Sid, I'm tellin you don't worry
about it. You had a bad couple of
months, it happens.
(pause)
Sid, Sid, Sid...Stop, you're
embarrassing me. I don't need to
be told what I already know. When
you have bad months, you do what
every business man in the
worlds does, I don't care if he's
Donald Trump or Irving the tailor.
Ya ride it out.

JOE
Come in.

TEDDY
Vic Vega's outside.

JOE
Tell him to come in.

JOE
(into phone)
Sid, a friend of mine's here. I
gotta go.
(pause)
Good enough, bye.

JOE
How's freedom kid, pretty fuckin
good, ain't it?

VIC
It's a change.

JOE
Ain't that a sad truth. Remy
Martin?

VIC
Sure.

JOE
Take a seat.

JOE
(while he pours the
drink)
Who's your parole officer?

VIC
A guy named Koons. Craig Koons.

JOE
How is he?

VIC
Fuckin asshole, won't let me leave
the halfway house.

JOE
Never ceases to amaze me. Fuckin
jungle bunny goes out there, slits
some old woman's throat for
twenty-five cents. Fuckin nigger
gets Doris Day as a parole
officer. But a good fella like
you gets stuck with a ball-bustin
prick.

VIC
I just want you to know, Joe, how
much I appreciate your care
packages on the inside.

JOE
What the hell did you expect me to
do? Just forget about you?

VIC
I just wanted you to know, they
meant a lot.

JOE
It's the least I could do Vic. I
wish I coulda done more.
(Joe flashes a side
grin at Vic)
Vic. Toothpick Vic. Tell me a
story? What're your plans?

VIC
Well, what I wanna do is go back
to work. But I got this Koons
prick deep up my ass. He won't
let me leave the halfway house
till I get some piece of shit job.
My plans have always been to be
part of the team again.

JOE
Come in.

EDDIE
(to Vic)
I see ya sittin here, but I don't
believe it.

VIC
Fine, now.

EDDIE
I'm sorry man, I shoulda picked
you up personally at the pen.
This whole week's just been crazy.
I've had my head up my ass the
entire time.

VIC
Funny you should mention it.
That's what your father and I been
talkin about.

EDDIE
That I should've picked you up?

VIC
No. That your head's been up your
ass. I walk through the door and
Joe says "Vic, you're back, thank
god. Finally somebody who knows
what the fuck he's doing. Vic,
Vic, Vic, Eddie, my son, is a fuck
up." And I say "Well, Joe, I
coulda told you that." "I'm
ruined! He's ruining me! My son,
I love him, but he's taking my
business and flushing it down the
fuckin toilet!"
(to Joe)
I'm not tellin tales out of
school. You tell 'im Joe.
Tell 'im yourself.

JOE
Eddie, I hate like hell for you to
hear it this way. But when Vic
asked me how's business, well, you
don't lie to a man who's just done
four years in the slammer for ya.

EDDIE
Oh really, is that a fact?

JOE
(yelling)
Okay, okay, enough, enough!
Playtime's over! You wanna roll
around on the floor, do it in
Eddie's office, not mine!

EDDIE
Daddy, did ya see that?

JOE
What?

EDDIE
Guy got me on the ground, tried to
fuck me.

VIC
You fuckin wish.

EDDIE
You tried to fuck me in my
father's office, you sick bastard.
Look, Vic, whatever you wanna do
in the privacy of your own home,
go do it. But don't try to fuck
me. I don't think of you that
way. I mean, I like you a lot--

VIC
Eddie, if I was a pirate, I
wouldn't throw you to the crew.

EDDIE
No, you'd keep me for yourself.
Four years fuckin punks in the ass
made you appreciate prime rib when
you get it.

VIC
I might break you, Nice Guy, but
I'd make you my dog's bitch.
You'd be suckin the dick and going
down on a mangy T-bone hound.

EDDIE
Now ain't that a sad sight, daddy,
walks into jail a white man, walks
out talkin like a nigger. It's
all that black semen been shootin
up his butt. It's backed up into
his brain and comes out of his
mouth.

JOE
Are you two finished? We were
talkin about some serious shit
when you came in Eddie. We got a
big problem we're tryin to solve.
Now Eddie, would you like to sit
down and help us solve it, or do
you two wanna piss fart around?

JOE
Now Vic was tellin me, he's got a
parole problem.

EDDIE
Really? Who's your P.O.?

VIC
Craig Koons.

EDDIE
Koons? Oh shit, I hear he's a
motherfucker.

VIC
He is a motherfucker. He won't
let me leave the halfway house
till I get some piece of shit job.

EDDIE
You're coming back to work for us,
right?

VIC
I wanna. But I gotta show this
asshole I got an honest-to-
goodness job before he'll let me
move out on my own. I can't work
for you guys and be worried about
gettin back before ten o'clock
curfew.

JOE
(to Eddie)
We can work this out, can't we?

EDDIE
This isn't all that bad. We can
give you a lot of legitimate jobs.
Put you on the rotation at Long
Beach as a dock worker.

VIC
I don't wanna lift crates.

EDDIE
You don't hafta lift shit. You
don't really work there. But as
far as the records are concerned,
you do. I call up Matthews, the
foreman, tell him he's got a new
guy. You're on the schedule. You
got a timecard, it's clocked in
and out for you everyday, and you
get a pay check at the end of the
week. And ya know dock workers
don't do too bad. So you can move
into a halfway decent place
without Koons thinkin "what the
fuck." And if Koons ever wants to
make a surprise visit, you're gone
that day. That day we sent you to
Tustin. We gotta bunch of shit
you needed to unload there.
You're at the Taft airstrip pickin
up a bunch of shit and bringing it
back. Part of your jab is goin
different places - and we got
places all over the place.

JOE
(to Vic)
Didn't I tell ya not to worry?
(to Eddie)
Vic was worried.

EDDIE
Me and you'll drive down to Long
Beach tomorrow. I'll introduce
you to Matthews, tell him what's
going on.

VIC
That's great, guy, thanks a bunch.
(pause)
When do you think you'll need me
for real work?

JOE
Well, it's kinda a strange time
right now. Things are kinda--

EDDIE
--Nuts. We got a big meeting in
Vegas coming up. And we're kinda
just gettin ready for that right
now.

JOE
Let Nice Guy set you up at Long
Beach. Give ya some cash, get
that Koons fuck off your back, and
we'll be talking to ya.

EDDIE
Daddy, I got an idea. Now just
hear it out. I know you don't
like to use any of the boys on
these jobs, but technically, Vic
ain't one of the boys. He's been
gone for four years. He ain't on
no one's list. Ya know he can
handle himself, ya know you can
trust him.

JOE
How would you feel about pullin a
heist with about five other guys?

VIC
What's the exposure like?

JOE
Two minutes, tops. It's a tough
two minutes. It's a hold up,
daylight, during business hours,
dealing with a crowd. But you
have the fellas to deal with the
crowd. It's a jewelry store.
They're getting a big shipment of
South African diamonds on a
certain day. They're like a way
station. It's gonna get picked up
the next day and sent to Hamburg.
When you walk through the door,
you'll know right where to go for
the rich stones.
The fellas are good, me and Nice
Guy picked em. Nobody knows
anybody else. Nobody's connected.
I don't use connected guys for
this shit.

VIC
What's the cut?

JOE
Juicy, man, real juicy.

EDDIE
(into phone)
Hey Dov, we got a major situation
here.
(pause)
I know you know that. I gotta
talk with daddy and find out what
he wants done.

EDDIE
(into phone)
All I know is what Vic told me.
He said the place turned into a
fuckin bullet festival. He took a
cop as hostage, just to get the
fuck out of there.

EDDIE
(into phone)
Do I sound like I'm jokin? He's
fuckin driving around with the cop
in his trunk.
(pause)
I don't know who did that. I
don't know who has the loot, if
anybody has the loot. Who's dead,
who's alive, who's caught, who's
not...
I will know, I'm practically
there. But what do I tell these
guys about daddy?
(pause)
You sure that's what he said?
(pause)
Okay, that's what I'll tell em.

EDDIE
(to himself)
Fucking assholes.

EDDIE
What in Sam Hill is goin on?

MR. PINK Hey, Nice Guy, we got a cop. MR. WHITE
You're askin what's goin
on? Where the fuck is
Joe?

EDDIE
Holy shit, this guy's all fucked
up!

MR. WHITE
No shit, he's gonna fuckin die on
us if we don't get him taken care
of.

MR. PINK
We were set up, the cops were
waiting for us.

EDDIE
What? Nobody set anybody up.

MR. PINK
The cops were there waitin for us!

EDDIE
Bullshit.

MR. PINK
Hey, fuck you man, you weren't
there, we were. And I'm tellin
ya, the cops had that store staked
out.

EDDIE
Okay, Mr. Detective, who did it?

MR. PINK
What the fuck d'you think we've
been askin each other?

EDDIE
And what are your answers? Was it
me? You think I set you up?

MR. PINK
I don't know, but somebody did.

EDDIE
Nobody did. You assholes turn the
jewelry store into a wild west
show, and you wonder why cops show
up.

MR. BLONDE
Where's Joseph?

EDDIE
I ain't talked to him. I talked
to Dov. Dov said he's comin out
here, and he's fucking pissed.

MR. PINK
(to Mr. White)
I told ya he'd be pissed.

MR. WHITE
(pointing to Mr.
Orange)
What are you gonna do about him?

EDDIE
Jesus Christ, give me a fuckin
chance to breathe. I got a few
questions of my own, ya know.

MR. WHITE
You ain't dying, he is.

EDDIE
I'll call somebody.

MR. WHITE
Who?

EDDIE
A snake charmer, what the fuck
d'you think. I'll call a doctor,
take care of him, fix 'm right up.
No, where's Mr. Brown and Mr.
Blue?

MR. PINK
Brown's dead, we don't know about
Blue.

EDDIE
Nobody saw what happened to Mr.
Blue?

MR. BLONDE
Well, he's either dead or he's
alive or the cops got him or they
don't.

EDDIE (OS)
I take it this is the bastard you
told me about.
(referring to the
cop)
Why the hell are you beating on
him?

MR. PINK
So he'll tell us who the fuck set
us up.

EDDIE
Would you stop it with that shit!
You beat on this prick enough,
he'll tell ya he started the
Chicago fire. That don't
necessarily make it so. Okay,
first things fucking last, where's
the shit? Please tell me somebody
brought something
with them.

MR. PINK
I got a bag. I stashed it till I
could be sure this place wasn't a
police station.

EDDIE
Well, let's go get it. We also
gotta get rid of all those cars.
It looks like Sam's hot car lot
outside.
(pointing to Mr.
Blonde)
You stay here and babysit Orange
and the cop.
(referring to Mr.
Pink and Mr. White)
You two take a car each, I'll
follow ya. You ditch it, I'll
pick you up, then we'll pick up
the stones. And while I'm
following you, I'll arrange for
some sort of a doctor for our
friend.

MR. WHITE
We can't leave these guys with
him.

EDDIE
Why not?

MR. WHITE
Because this guy's a fucking
psycho. And if you think
Joe's pissed at us, that
ain't nothing compared to how
pissed off I am at him, for puttin
me in the same room as this
bastard.

MR. BLONDE
(to Eddie)
You see what I been puttin up
with? As soon as I walk through
the door I'm hit with this shit.
I tell 'm what you told me about
us stayin put and Mr. White whips
out his gun, sticks it in my face,
and starts screaming "You
motherfucker, I'm gonna blow you
away, blah, blah, blah."

MR. WHITE
He's the reason the place turned
into a shooting gallery.
(to Mr. Pink)
What are you, a silent partner?
Fuckin tell him.

MR. PINK
He seems all right now, but he
went crazy in the store.

MR. WHITE
This is what he was doin.

MR. BLONDE
I told 'em not to touch the alarm.
They touched it. I blew 'em full
of holes. If they hadn't done
what I told 'em not it, they'd
still be alive.

MR. WHITE
That's your excuse for going on a
kill crazy rampage?

MR. BLONDE
I don't like alarms.

EDDIE
What does it matter who stays with
the cop? We ain't lettin him go.
Not after he's seen everybody.
You should've never took him outta
your trunk in the first place.

MR. PINK
We were trying to find out what he
knew about the set up.

EDDIE
There is no fuckin set up!
(Eddie takes charge)
Look, this is the news. Blondie,
you stay here and take care of
them two. White and Pink come
with me, 'cuz if Joe gets here and
sees all those fucking cars
parked out front, he's going to be
as mad at me as he is at you.

MR. BLONDE
Alone at last.

MR. BLONDE (OS)
Now where were we?

COP
I told you I don't know anything
about any fucking set up. I've
only been on the force eight
months, nobody tells me anything!
I don't know anything! You can
torture me if you want--

MR. BLONDE (OS)
--Thanks, don't mind if I do.

COP
Your boss even said there wasn't a
set up.

MR. BLONDE (OS)
First off, I don't have a boss.
Are you clear about that?

MR. BLONDE (OS)
I asked you a question. Are you
clear about that?

COP
Yes.

MR. BLONDE (OS)
Now I'm not gonna bullshit you. I
don't really care about what you
know or don't know. I'm gonna
torture you for awhile regardless.
Not to get information, but
because torturing a cop amuses me.
There's nothing you can say,
there's nothing you can do.
Except pray for death.

MR. BLONDE
Let's see what's on K-BILLY'S
"super sounds of the seventies"
weekend.

MR. BLONDE
"Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right. Here I am,
stuck in the middle with you."

MR. ORANGE
(feebly)
What's your name?

COP
Jeffrey.

MR. ORANGE
Jeffrey what?

COP
Jeffrey Andrews.

MR. ORANGE
Listen to me, Jeffrey
Andrews. I'm a cop.

JEFFREY
I know.

MR. ORANGE
(surprised)
You do?

JEFFREY
Your name's Freddy something.

MR. ORANGE
Freddy Newendyke.

JEFFREY
Frankie Ferchetti introduced us
once, about five months ago.

MR. ORANGE
Shit. I don't remember that at
all.

JEFFREY
I do.
(pause)
How do I look?

MR. ORANGE
I don't know what to tell you
Jeffrey.

JEFFREY
That fucking bastard! That
fucking sick fucking bastard!

MR. ORANGE
Jeffrey, I need you to hold on.
There's officers positioned and
waiting to move in a block away.

JEFFREY
(screaming)
What the fuck are they waiting
for? That motherfucker cut off my
ear! He slashed my face! I'm
deformed!

MR. ORANGE
And I'm dying. They don't know
that. All they know is they're
not to make a move until Joe Cabot
shows up. I was sent undercover
to get Cabot. You heard 'em, they
said he's on his way. Don't pussy
out on me now, Jeffrey. We're
just gonna sit here and bleed
until Joe
Cabot sticks his fuckin head
through that door.

FREDDY (O.S.)
Say "hello" to a motherfucker
who's inside. Cabot's doing a job
and take a big fat guess who he
wants on the team?

HOLDAWAY
This better not be some Freddy
joke.

FREDDY
It ain't no joke, I'm in there.
I'm up his ass.

HOLDAWAY
Congratulations.

FREDDY (O.S.)
Nice Guy Eddie tells me Joe wants
to meet me. He says I should just
hang around my apartment and wait
for a phone call. Well after
waiting three goddamn days by the
fuckin phone, he calls me last
night and says Joe's ready, and
he'll pick me up in fifteen
minutes.

HOLDAWAY
Woo all picked you up?

FREDDY
Nice Guy. When we got to the
bar...

HOLDAWAY
...What bar?

FREDDY
The Boots and Socks in Gardena.
When we got there, I met Joe and a
guy named Mr. White. It's a phony
name. My name's Mr. Orange.

HOLDAWAY
You ever seen this motherfucker
before?

FREDDY
Who, Mr. White?

HOLDAWAY
Yeah.

FREDDY
No, he ain't familiar. He ain't
one of Cabot's soldiers either.
He's gotta be from outta town.
But Joe knows him real well.

HOLDAWAY
How can you tell?

FREDDY
The way they talk to each other.
You can tell they're buddies.

HOLDAWAY
Did the two of you talk?

FREDDY
Me and Mr. White?

HOLDAWAY
Yeah.

FREDDY
A little.

HOLDAWAY
What about?

FREDDY
The Brewers.

HOLDAWAY
The Milwaukee Brewers?

FREDDY
Yeah. They had just won the night
before, and he made a killing off
'em.

HOLDAWAY
Well, if this crook's a Brewers
fan, his ass has gotta be from
Wisconsin. And I'll bet you
everything from a diddle-eyed Joe
to a damned-if-I-know, that in
Milwaukee they got a sheet on this
Mr. White motherfucker's ass. I
want you to go through the mugs of
guys from old Milwaukee with a
history of armed robbery, and put
a name to that face.

HOLDAWAY
(with his mouth full)
What kinds questions did Cabot
ask?

FREDDY
Where I was from, who I knew, how
I knew Nice Guy, had I done time,
shit like that.

FREDDY
He asked me if I ever done armed
robbery before. I read him my
credits. I robbed a few gas and
sips, sold some weed, told him
recently I held the shotgun while
me and another guy pulled down a
poker game in Portland.

HOLDAWAY (O.S.)
Didja use the commode story?

FREDDY
Fuckin-A. I tell it real good,
too.

FREDDY
What's this?

HOLDAWAY
It's a scene. Memorize it.

FREDDY
What?

HOLDAWAY
A undercover cop has got to be
Marlon Brando. To do this job you
got to be a great actor. You got
to be naturalistic. You got to be
naturalistic as hell. If you
ain't a great actor you're a bad
actor, and bad acting is bull shit
in this job.

FREDDY
(referring to the
papers)
But what is this?

HOLDAWAY
It's a amusing anecdote about a
drug deal.

FREDDY
What?

HOLDAWAY
Something funny that happened to
you while you were doing a job.

FREDDY
I gotta memorize all this shit?

HOLDAWAY
It's like a joke. You remember
what's important, and the rest you
make your own. The only way to
make it your own is to keep sayin
it, and sayin it, and sayin it,
and sayin it, and sayin it.

FREDDY
I can do that.

HOLDAWAY
The things you gotta remember are
the details. It's the details
that sell your story. Now this
story takes place in this men's
room. So you gotta know the
details about this men's room.
You gotta know they got a blower
instead of a towel to dry your
hands. You gotta know the stalls
ain't got no doors. You gotta
know whether they got liquid or
powdered soap, whether they got
hot water or not, 'cause if you do
your job when you tell your story,
everybody should believe it. And
if you tell your story to somebody
who's actually taken a piss in
this men's room, and you get one
detail they remember right,
they'll swear by you.

FREDDY
...this was during the Los Angeles
marijuana drought of '86. I still
had a connection. Which was
insane, 'cause you couldn't get
weed anyfuckinwhere then. Anyway,
I had a connection with this
hippie chick up in Santa Cruz.
All and my friends knew it. And
they'd give me a call and say,
"Hey, Freddy, you buyin some, you
think you could buy me some too?"
They knew I smoked, so they'd ask
me to buy a little for them when I
was buyin. But it got to be
everytime I bought some weed, I
was buyin for four or five
different people. Finally I said,
"Fuck this shit." I'm makin this
bitch rich. She didn't have to do
jack shit, she never even had to
meet these people. I was fuckin
doin all the work. So I got
together with her and told her,
"Hey, I'm sick of this shit. I'm
comin through for everybody, and
nobody's comin through for me.
So, either I'm gonna tell all my
friends to find their own source,
or you give me a bunch of weed,
I'll sell it to them, give you the
money, minus ten percent, and I
get my pot for free." So, I did
if for awhile...

FREDDY
...but then that got to be a pain
in the ass. People called me on
the phone all the fuckin time. I
couldn't rent a fuckin tape
without six phone calls
interrupting me. "Hey, Freddy,
when's the next time you're gettin
some?" "Motherfucker, I'm tryin
to watch 'Lost Boys'-- when I have
some, I'll let you know." And
then these rinky-dink pot heads
come by--there's my friends and
everything, but still. I got all
my shit laid out in sixty dollar
bags. Well, they don't want sixty
dollars worth. They want ten
dollars worth. Breaking it up is
a major fuckin pain in the ass. I
don't even know how much ten
dollars worth is. "Well, fuck,
man, I don't want that much
around. If I have that much
around I'll smoke it." "Hey, if
you guys can't control your
smokin, that's not my problem.
You motherfuckers been smokin for
five years, be a adult about it."
Finally I just told my connection,
count me out. But as it turns
out, I'm the best guy she had, and
she depended alot on my business.
But I was still sick to death of
it. And she's trying to talk me
into not quitin.
Now this was a very weird
situation, 'cause I don't know if
you remember back in '86, there
was a major fuckin drought.
Nobody and anything. People were
livin on resin and smokin the wood
in their pipes for months. And
this chick had a bunch, and was
beggin me to sell it. So I told
her I wasn't gonna be Joe the Pot
Man anymore. But I would take a
little bit and sell it to my
close, close, close friends. She
agreed to that, and said we'd keep
the same arrangement as before,
ten percent and free pot for me,
as long as I helped her out that
weekend. She had a brick of weed
she was sellin, and she didn't
want to go to the buy alone...

FREDDY
...Her brother usually goes with
her, but he's in county
unexpectedly.

MR. WHITE
What for?

FREDDY
Traffic tickets gone to warrant.
They stopped him for something,
found the warrants on 'im, took
'im to jail. She doesn't want to
walk around alone with all that
weed. Well, I don't wanna do
this, I have a bad feeling about
it, but she keeps askin me, keeps
askin me, finally I said okay
'cause I'm sick of listening to
it. Well, we're picking this guy
up at the train station.

JOE
You're picking the buyer up at the
train station? You're carrying
the weed on you?

FREDDY
Yeah, the guy needed it right
away. Don't ask me why. So we
get to the train station, and
we're waitin for the guy. Now I'm
carrying the weed in one of those
carry-on bags, and I gotta take a
piss. So I tell the connection
I'll be right back, I'm goin' to
the little boys room...

FREDDY (V.O.)
...So I walk into the men's room,
and who's standing there?

FREDDY (V.O.)
...six Los Angeles County Sheriffs
and a German Shepherd.

NICE GUY EDDIE (V.O.)
They were waiting for you?

FREDDY (V.O.)
No. They were just a bunch of
cops hangin out in the men's room,
talkin. When I walked through the
door they all stopped what they
were talking about and looked at
me.

MR. WHITE
That's hard, man. That's a fuckin
hard situation.

FREDDY (V.O.)
The German Shepherd starts
barkin'. He's barkin' at me. I
mean it's obvious he's barkin' at
me.

FREDDY (V.O.)
Every nerve ending, all of my
senses, the blood in my veins,
everything I has was screaming,
"Take off, man, just take off, get
the fuck outta there!" Panic hit
me like a bucket of water. First
there was the shock of it--BAM,
right in the face! Then I'm just
standin there drenched in panic.

FREDDY (V.O.)
And all those sheriffs are lookin
at me and they know. They can
smell it. As sure as that fuckin
dog cam, they can smell it on me.

SHERIFF #1
Shut up!

SHERIFF #2
So my gun's drawn, right? I got
it aimed right at him. I tell
'em, "Freeze, don't fuckin move."
And the little idiot's lookin at
me, nodding his head "Yes," sayin
"I know...I know...I know."
Meanwhile his right hand is
creepin towards his glove box. So
I scream at him, "Asshole, you
better fuckin freeze right now!"
And he's still lookin right at me,
saying
"I know...I know...I know." And
his right hand's still going for
the glove box.

SHERIFF #2 (O.S.)
I tell 'im, "Buddy, I'm gonna
shoot you in the face right now if
you don't put your hands on the
fuckin dash." And the guy's
girlfriend, a real sexy Oriental
bitch, starts screamin at him,
"Chuck, are you out of your mind?
Put your hands on the dash like
the officer said." And then like
nothing, the guy snaps out of it
and casually puts his hands on the
dash.

SHERIFF #1
What was he goin for?

SHERIFF #2
His registration. Stupid fuckin
citizen, doesn't have the
slightest idea how close he came
to gettin shot.

FREDDY (OS)
That's him, that's Mr. White.

HOLDAWAY
Lawrence Dimick. Let's see what
we got on him.

JODIE
This is your life, Lawrence
Dimick!

JODIE (OS)
Lawrence "Larry" Dimick. Also
known as Lawrence Jacobs and Alvin
"Al" Jacobs. This guy is Mr. Joe-
Armed-Robbery. He's
a pro and he makes it a habit not
to get caught.

JODIE
He's only been convicted twice,
which is pretty good for somebody
living a life of crime. Once for
armed robbery, when he was twenty-
one, in Milwaukee.

FREDDY
What was it?

JODIE
Payroll office at a lumber yard.
First offense - he got eighteen
months. He didn't get busted
again until he was thirty-two.
And then it was a backdoor bust.
A routine vice squad roust. They
roust this bar, out buddy Lawrence
is in there knocking down a few.
He gets picked up. He's wearing
on his person an outlaw .45
automatic, apparently his weapon
of choice. Also, on his finger is
a diamond ring from a jewelry
store robbery a year earlier. He
got two years back inside for
that.

FREDDY
Goddamn, that's hard time.

JODIE
So far, it's the only time he's
ever done.

HOLDAWAY
Was this vice squad bullshit in
Milwaukee?

JODIE
No. The vice squad roust was in
L.A. He's been in Los Angeles
since '77.

FREDDY
When did he do this time?

JODIE
Back in '83, got out late '86. I
found something else out I think
you two should be aware of.
About a year and a half ago, up in
Sacramento, an undercover cop,
John Dolenz, worked his way into a
bank job. Apparently before the
job they found out he was a cop.
Now picture this: It's Dolenz's
birthday, a bunch of cops are
waiting in his apartment for a
surprise party. The door opens,
everyone yells "Surprise!", and
standing in the doorway is Dolenz
and this other guy sticking a gun
in Dolenz's ribs. Before anybody
knows what's going on, this
stranger shoots Dolenz dead and
starts firing two .45 automatics
into the crowd.

HOLDAWAY
What happened?

JODIE
It was a mess. Cops got hit,
wives got hit, girlfriends got
hit, his dog got hit. People got
glass in their faces. Three were
killed, six were wounded.

FREDDY
They couldn't pin the killing on
one of the bank robbers?

JODIE
They tried, but they didn't have a
positive I.D. and all those guys
had alibis. Besides, we really
didn't have anything on them. We
had the testimony of a dead man
that they were talking
about committing a robbery. They
never went ahead with the bank
job.

FREDDY
And Larry Dimick was one of the
boys?

JODIE
He was probably the one.

HOLDAWAY
Just how sure are you with your
cover?

FREDDY
Today they may know something,
tomorrow they may know something
else. But yesterday they didn't
know anything.

FREDDY (OS)
What's the next step?

HOLDAWAY (OS)
Do what they told ya. Sit in your
apartment and wait for 'em to call
you. We'll have guys posted
outside who'll follow you when
they pick you up.

FREDDY
Hello.

NICE GUY EDDIE (OS)
(through phone)
It's time. Grab your jacket--

EDDIE
--We're parked outside.

FREDDY (OS)
(through phone)
I'll be right down.

EDDIE
He'll be right down.

FREDDY
(to himself)
Don't pussy out on me now. They
don't know. They don't know shit.
(pause)
You're not gonna get hurt. You're
fucking Baretta and they believe
every word, cuz
you're super cool.

COP #1 (OS)
There goes our boy.

COP #2 (OS)
I swear, a guy has to have rocks
in his head the size of Gibraltar
to work undercover.

COP #1 (OS)
Do you want one of these?

COP #2 (OS)
Yeah, gimme the bear claw.

MR. PINK
...Hey, I know what I'm talkin
about, black women ain't the same
as white women.

MR. WHITE
(sarcastically)
There's a slight difference.

MR. PINK
Go ahead and laugh, you know what
I mean. What a while bitch will
put up with, a black bitch won't
put up with for a minute. They
got a line, and if you cross it,
they fuck you up.

EDDIE
I gotta go along with Mr. Pink on
this. I've seen it happen.

MR. WHITE
Okay, Mr. Expert. If this is such
a truism, how come every nigger I
know treats his woman like a piece
of shit?

MR. PINK
I'll make you a bet that those
same damn niggers who were showin
their ass in public, when their
bitches get 'em home, they chill
the fuck out.

MR. WHITE
Not these guys.

MR. PINK
Yeah, those guys too.

EDDIE
Let me tell you guys a story. In
one of daddy's clubs there was
this black cocktail waitress named
Elois.

MR. WHITE
Elois?

EDDIE
Yeah, Elois. E and Lois. We
called her Lady E.

MR. WHITE
Where was she from, Compton?

EDDIE
No. She was from Ladora Heights.

MR. PINK
The black Beverly Hills. I knew
this lady from Ladora Heights
once.
(in a stuck up black
female voice)
"Hi, I'm from Ladora Heights, it's
the black Beverly Hills."
EDDIE
It's not the black Beverly Hills,
it's the black Palos Verdes.
Anyway, this chick, Elois, was a
man-eater-upper. I bet every guy
who's ever met her has jacked off
to her at least once. You know
who she looked like? Christie
Love. 'Member that TV show "Get
Christie Love"? She was a black
female cop. She always used to
say "You're under arrest, sugar."

MR. PINK
I was in the sixth grade when that
show was on. I totally dug it.
What the fuck was the name of the
chick who played Christie
Love?

EDDIE
Pam Grier.

MR. PINK
No, it wasn't Pan Grier, Pan Grier
was the other one. Pan Grier made
the movies. Christie Love was
like a Pam Grier TV show, without
Pam Grier.

MR. PINK
What the fuck was that chick's
name? Oh this is just great, I'm
totally fuckin tortured now.

EDDIE
Well, whoever she was, Elois
looked like her. So one night I
walk into the club, and no Elois.
Now the bartender was a wetback,
he was a friend of mine, his name
was Carlos.
So I asked him "Hey, Carlos,
where's Lady E tonight?" Well
apparently Lady E was married to
this real piece of dog shit. I
mean a real animal. And
apparently he would so things to
her.

FREDDY

Do things? What would he do? You
mean like beat her up?

EDDIE
Nobody knows for sure what he did.
We just know he did something.
Anyway, Elois plays it real cool.
And waits for the next time this
bag of shit gets drunk. So one
night the guy gets drunk and
passes out on the couch. So while
the guy's
inebriated, she strips him naked.
Then she takes some crazy glue and
glues his dick to his belly.

EDDIE
I'm dead fuckin serious. She put
some on his dick and some on his
belly, then stuck 'em together.
The paramedics had to come and cut
it loose.

MR. WHITE
Jesus Christ!

FREDDY
You can do some crazy things with
it.

EDDIE
I don't know what he did to her,
but she got even.

MR. WHITE
Was he all pissed off?

MR. PINK
How would you feel if you had to
do a handstand every time you took
a piss.

JOE
(to everybody)
...So they're talkin about how
they get their wives off, and the
French guys says:
(in a bad French
accent)
"All I gotta do is take my pinky
and tickle my Fifi's little oo la
la and she rises a foot off the
bed."

JOE
(in a good Brooklyn
accent)
"That's nothin. When I take the
tip of my tongue and wiggle it
against my Mary Louise's little
fun pimple, she rises two feet off
da bed." Then our friend from
Poland says:
(in dumb voice)
"You guys ain't no cocksmen. When
I get through fuckin my Sophie, I
wipe my dick on the curtains and
you know what? She hits the
roof!"

JOE
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

JOE
Ain't that a masterpiece? Stupid
fuckin Polack, wipes his dick on
the drapes.

JOE
You're here, great!

EDDIE
We woulda gotten here sooner, but
we got backed up around La Brea
and Pico.

JOE
No hurry.
(to the boys)
All right, let's get to know one
another. With the exception of
Eddie and myself, who you already
know, you'll be using aliases.
Under no circumstances are you to
tell one another your real name or
anything else about yourself.
That includes where you're from,
your wife's name, where you
might've done time, about a bank
in St. Petersburg you might've
robbed. You guys don't say shit
about who you are, where you been
or what you've done. Only thing
you guys can talk about is what
you're going to do. This way the
only ones who know who the members
of the team are are Eddie and
myself. And that's the way I like
it. Because in the unlikely event
of one of you getting apprehended
by the cops, not that I expect
that to happen - it most
definitely should not happen - it
hasn't happened, you don't have
anything to deal with. You don't
know any names. You know my name,
you know Eddie's name. That I
don't care about. You gotta prove
it. I ain't worried. Besides,
this way you gotta trust me. I
like that. I set this up and
picked the men I wanted for it.
None of you came to me, I
approached all of you. I know
you. I know your work, I know
your reputation. I know you as
men. Except for this guy.

JOE
But he's OK. If he wasn't OK, he
wouldn't be here. Okay, let me
introduce everybody to everybody.
But once again, at the risk of
being redundant, if I even think I
hear somebody telling or referring
to somebody by their Christian
name...
(Joe searches for the
right words)
...you won't want to be you.
Okay, quickly.
(pointing at the men
as he gives them a
name)
Mr. Brown, Mr. White, Mr. Blonde,
Mr. Blue, Mr. Orange, and Mr.
Pink.

MR. PINK
Why am I Mr. Pink?

JOE
Cause you're a faggot.

MR. PINK
Why can't we pick out our own
colors?

JOE
I tried that once, it don't work.
You get four guys fighting over
who's gonna be Mr. Black. Since
nobody knows anybody else, nobody
wants to back down. So forget it,
I pick. Be thankful you're not
Mr. Yellow.

MR. BROWN
Yeah, but Mr. Brown? That's too
close to Mr. Shit.

MR. PINK
Yeah, Mr. Pink sounds like Mr.
Pussy. Tell you what, let me be
Mr. Purple. That sounds good to
me, I'm Mr. Purple.

JOE
You're not Mr. Purple, somebody
from another job's Mr. Purple.
You're Mr. Pink.

MR. WHITE
Who cares what your name is? Who
cares if you're Mr. Pink, Mr.
Purple, Mr. Pussy, Mr. Piss...

MR. PINK
Oh that's really easy for you to
say, you're Mr. White. You gotta
cool-sounding name. So tell me,
Mr. White, if you think "Mr. Pink"
is no big deal, you wanna trade?

JOE
Nobody's trading with anybody!
Look, this ain't a goddamn fuckin
city counsel meeting! Listen up
Mr. Pink. We got two ways here,
my way or the highway. And you
can go down either of 'em. So
what's it gonna be, Mr. Pink?

MR. PINK
Jesus Christ, Joe. Fuckin forget
it. This is beneath me. I'm Mr.
Pink, let's move on.

JOE (OS)
Okay fellas, let's get into this.

HOLDAWAY
Okay, we're gonna station men
across the street from Karina's
Fine Jewelry. But their orders
will be not to move in unless the
robbery gets out of control. You
gotta make sure they don't have to
move in. You're inside to make
sure that everything goes
according to Hoyle. We have men
set up a block away from the
warehouse rendezvous. They got
complete visibility of the
exterior. So as soon as Joe Cabot
shows up, we'll see it.

FREDDY
What's your visibility of the
interior?

HOLDAWAY
We can't see shit on the inside.
And we can't risk gettin any
closer for fear they'll spot us.

FREDDY
This is bullshit, Jim. I get all
the fuckin danger of having you
guys in my back pocket but none of
the safety.

HOLDAWAY
What's the matter, Newendyke? Job
too tough for ya? No one lied to
you. You always knew we'd hang
back until Joe Cabot showed up.

FREDDY
Oh this is great. You ain't
giving me no fuckin protection
whatsoever. But you are giving me
an attitude.

HOLDAWAY
Since when does an undercover cop
have protection? Freddy, you came
into this thing with your eyes
wide open, so don't start screamin
blind man now. I understand
you're nervous. I wish the
warehouse had more visible
windows, but it doesn't. We have
to make do with the cards we're
dealt.

FREDDY
I didn't say I wasn't gonna do it.
I'm just remarking on how shitty
the situation is!

HOLDAWAY
I don't mean to be harsh with ya,
but I've found tough love works
best in these situations. We have
to get Joe Cabot in the company of
the thieves and in the same
vicinity as the loot.
We don't care about these other
bastards. We're willing to offer
them good deals to testify against
Cabot.

FREDDY
Isn't this risk unorthodox?

HOLDAWAY
What?

FREDDY
Letting them go ahead with the
robbery?

HOLDAWAY
The whole idea behind this
operation is to catch Joe Cabot
red-handed. We bust these hired
hands, we ain't accomplished shit.
Letting them go through with the
heist is a risk, but Cabot's jobs
are very clean. We got people
surrounding the perimeter. We got
a guy and a gal on the inside
posing as a couple shopping for
rings. We could replace the
employees with cops, but we'd run
the risk of tipping 'em off.

FREDDY
That's out. They know the faces
of who works what shift.

HOLDAWAY
These guys are professionals.
We're professionals. It's a risk,
but I think it's a calculated
risk.

MR. WHITE (VO)
Let's go over it. Where are you?

FREDDY (VO)
I stand outside and guard the
door. I don't let anybody come in
or go out.

MR. WHITE (VO)
Mr. Brown?

FREDDY (VO)
Mr. Brown stays in the car. He's
parked across the street till I
give him the signal, then he pulls
up in front of the store.

MR. WHITE (VO)
Mr. Blonde and Mr. Blue?

FREDDY (VO)
Crowd control. They handle
customers and employees in the
display area.

MR. WHITE
Myself and Mr. Pink?

FREDDY
You two take the manager in the
back and make him give you the
diamonds. We're there for those
stones, period. Since no display
cases are being fucked with, no
alarms should go off. We're out
of there in two minutes, not one
second longer. What if the
manager won't give up the
diamonds?

MR. WHITE
When you're dealing with a store
like this, they're insured up the
ass. They're not supposed to give
you and resistance
whatsoever. If you get a customer
or an employee who thinks he's
Charles Bronson, take the butt of
your gun and smash their nose in.
Drops 'em right to the floor.
Everyone jumps, he falls down,
screaming, blood squirts out his
nose. Freaks everybody out.
Nobody says fuckin shit after
that. You might get some bitch
talk shit to ya. But give her a
look, like you're gonna smash her
in the face next. Watch her shut
the fuck up. Now if it's a
manager, that's a different story.
The managers know better than to
fuck around. So if one's givin
you static, he probably thinks
he's a real cowboy. So what you
gotta do is break that son-of-a-
bitch in two. If you wanna know
something and he won't tell you,
cut off one of his fingers. The
little one. Then you tell 'im his
thumb's next. After that he'll
tell ya if he wears ladies
underwear. I'm hungry, let's get
a taco.

MR. BROWN
(screaming)
My eyes! My eyes! I'm blind, I'm
fucking blind!

FREDDY
You're not blind, there's just
blood in your eyes.

MR. BROWN
Mr. Orange? You're Mr. Orange,
aren't you?

MR. WHITE
Is he dead?

MR. WHITE
Did he did or not?

FREDDY
I'm sorry.

MR. WHITE
What? Snap out of it!

MR. WHITE
Get us outta here!

MR. WHITE
The bitch's got a gun!

MR. WHITE (OS)
Just hold on buddy boy.

FREDDY
I'm sorry. I can't believe she
killed me...

EDDIE
(looking through the
case)
You know, all things considered,
this was pretty successful.

MR. WHITE
I don't believe you just said
that.

EDDIE
No, it was messy as hell, but do
you realize how much you got away
with? There's over two million
dollars worth of diamonds here.

MR. PINK
I love this guy.

EDDIE
Hey, what's done is done. We can
all sit around and have a big cry
about it or we can deal with the
situation at hand.

MR. WHITE
The situation as hand isn't that
fuckin satchel. You and Joe have
a responsibility to your men.

EDDIE
Hey, it's the best I could do.

MR. WHITE
The man is fucking dying.

EDDIE
And I'm telling you, Bonnie'll
take care of him.

MR. WHITE
He needs a doctor, not a fuckin
nurse.

EDDIE
Ask me how many doctors I called.
You wanna embarrass yourself, ask
me how many doctors I called.

MR. WHITE
Obviously not enough.

EDDIE
Fuck you! You gotta little black
book, then whip is out. If not,
listen how it is. I called three
doctors and couldn't get through
to shit. Now, time being a
factor, I called Bonnie. Sweet
broad, helluva broad, and a
registered nurse. Told her a
bullshit story, upside: she said
bring him to her apartment.

MR. WHITE
If he dies I'm holding you
personally responsible.

EDDIE
Fuck you buddy boy! Okay, you
wanna play that way. I am
personally leaving myself
vulnerable with this Bonnie
situation. I don't think she'll
call the cops, but I don't know
for sure. But me being too nice-
a-fuckin-guy was willin to risk
it. But no fuckin more.
(he grabs his
portable phone)
I'm callin Bonnie back and tellin
her to forget it. You take care
of your friend, you know so much
about it.

MR. PINK
Goddamnit, will you guys grow up!

EDDIE
I don't need to grow up, my
friend. I am a grown up. I'm
being responsible, I'm taking care
of business.

MR. WHITE
Cut the shit! I don't think you
called anybody except some cooze
you once fucked, who happens to
wear orthopedic shoes. And I
don't think that's good enough
care for a gut-shot man.

EDDIE
Yeah, well I don't give a flying
fuck what you think!

MR. PINK
(to Mr. White)
Look, he's not sayin this bitch is
gonna operate on him. She's gonna
give him better attention than we
can until we can get a doctor.
Nobody's forgotten about doctors.
Joe'll get one in a snap. This is
something we're doing in the
meantime. I think both of you are
actin like a couple of assholes.

EDDIE
Yeah, right. I arrange a nurse, I
leave myself wide open, and I'm an
asshole.

EDDIE
What the fuck happened here?

MR. WHITE
(to Mr. Orange)
What happened?

MR. ORANGE
(very weakly)
Blonde went crazy. He slashed the
cop's face, cut off his ear and
was gonna burn him alive.

EDDIE
(yelling)
Who cares what he was gonna do to
this fuckin pig?

EDDIE
(to Mr. Orange)
You were saying he went crazy?
Something like that? Worse or
better?

MR. ORANGE
Look, Eddie, he was pullin a burn.
He was gonna kill the cop and me.
And when you guys walked through
the door, he was gonna blow you to
hell and make off with the
diamonds.

MR. WHITE
(to Eddie)
Uhuh, uhuh, what's I tell ya?
That sick piece of shit was a
stone cold psycho.

MR. ORANGE
(to Eddie)
You could've asked the cop, if you
didn't just kill him. He talked
about what he was going to do when
he was slicing him up.

EDDIE
I don't buy it. It doesn't make
sense.

MR. WHITE
It makes perfect fuckin sense to
me. Eddie, you didn't see how he
acted during the job, we did.

MR. PINK
He's right about the ear, it's
hacked off.

EDDIE
(to Mr. Orange)
Let me say this out loud, just to
get it straight in my mind.
According to you, Mr. Blonde was
gonna kill you. Then when we came
back, kill us, grab the diamonds,
and scram. That's your story?
I'm correct about that, right?

MR. ORANGE
Eddie, you can believe me or not
believe me, but it's the truth. I
swear on my mother's eternal soul
that's what happened.

EDDIE
You're a fuckin liar. Now why
don't you drop the fuckin fairy
tale and tell me what really
happened?

MR. WHITE (OS)
He told you what really happened.
You just can't deal with it.

MR. ORANGE (OS)
Okay, you're right, I'm lying.
Even though I'm fuckin dyin I'm
not above pullin a fast one. Get
rid of Blonde, we share his split
- no, scratch that, I shot him
'cause I didn't like his hair
style. I didn't like his shoes
either. If it has just been his
hair, I'd've maybe, maybe I said,
let him live. But hair and
footwear together, he's a goner.

EDDIE
The man you killed was just
released from prison. He got
caught at a company warehouse full
of hot items. He could've walked
away. All he had to do was say my
dad's name. But instead he shut
his mouth and did his time. He
did four years for us, and he did
'em like a man. And we were very
grateful. So, Mr. Orange, you're
tellin me this very good friend of
mine, who did four years for my
father, who in four years never
made a deal, no matter what they
dangled in front of him, you're
telling me that now, that now this
man is free, and we're making good
on our commitment to him, he's
just gonna decide, right out of
the fuckin blue, to rip us off?

EDDIE
Mr. Orange, why don't you tell me
what really happened?

VOICE (OS)
Why? It'll just be more bullshit.

JOE
(pointing to Mr.
Orange)
This man set us up.

EDDIE
Daddy, I'm sorry, I don't know
what's happening.

JOE
That's okay, Eddie, I do.

MR. WHITE
(to Joe)
What the fuck are you talking
about?

JOE
(pointing to Mr.
Orange)
That piece of shit. Workin with
the cops.

MR. WHITE MR. PINK EDDIE
What?

JOE
I said this lump of shit is workin
with the LAPD.

JOE
Aren't you?

MR. ORANGE (OS)
I don't have the slightest fuckin
idea what you're talkin about.

MR. WHITE
(very calmly to Joe)
Joe, I don't know what you think
you know, but you're wrong.

JOE
Like hell I am.

MR. WHITE
(very calmly)
Joe, trust me on this, you've made
a mistake. He's a good kid. I
understand you're hot, you're
super-fuckin pissed. We're all
real emotional. But you're
barking up the wrong tree. I know
this man, and he wouldn't do that.

JOE
You don't know jack shit. I do.
This rotten bastard tipped off the
cops and got Mr. Brown and Mr.
Blue killed.

MR. PINK
Mr. Blue's dead?

JOE
Dead as Dillinger.

EDDIE
The motherfucker killed Vic.

MR. WHITE
How do you know all this?

JOE
He was the only one I wasn't a
hundred percent on. I should have
my fucking head examined for goin
forward when I wasn't a hundred
percent. But he seemed like a
good kid, and I was impatient and
greedy and all the things that
fuck you up.

MR. WHITE
(screaming)
That's your proof?

JOE
You don't need proof when you got
instinct. I ignored it before,
but not no more.

EDDIE
Have you lost your fucking mind?
Put your gun down!

MR. WHITE
Joe, you're making a terrible
mistake I can't let you make.

EDDIE
Stop pointing your fuckin gun at
daddy!

JOE
Don't worry, Eddie. Me and Larry
have been friends a long time, he
ain't gonna shoot. We like each
other too much.

MR. WHITE
Joe, if you kill that man, you die
next. Repeat, if you kill that
man, you die next!

MR. PINK
C'mon, guys, nobody wants this.
We're supposed to me fuckin
professionals!

JOE
Larry, I'm gonna kill him.

MR. WHITE
Goddamn you, Joe, don't make me do
this!

JOE
Larry, I'm askin you to trust me
on this.

MR. WHITE
Don't ask me that.

JOE
I'm not askin, I'm betting.

EDDIE
Daddy, don't!

POLICE FORCE (OS)
Freeze! Get out of the car and lie
face down on the ground!

MR. PINK (OS)
Don't shoot!

We now hear SIRENS, the SOUNDS of more CARS DRIVING UP,

MR. WHITE
(with much effort)
Sorry, kid. Looks like we're
gonna do a little time.

MR. ORANGE
I'm a cop.

MR. ORANGE
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

POLICE FORCE (OS)
Freeze, motherfucker! Drop your
fucking gun!